When I was a kid, November 1st used to be the day for cleaning up the remains of the jack o’lanterns the local high school pranksters had stolen from neighbors’ porches to toss about the neighborhood in random acts of mischief.
I remember the pumpkin shards with the smashed mouths leering in the middle and along the sides of the road, waiting for someone to scrape them off the pavement…or hit them with their cars, smushing them into pulpy oblivion on the blacktop.
But such is the life of a pumpkin: chosen, cleaned up, carved into a jacko’lantern, set out–smiling (or grimacing)–for public view for a short time…and then…SNATCH! Smashed to smithereens by mischiefmakers right where everyone can see it immediately after Halloween.
But this Halloween there is more than mischief in the making: there is outright deception.
So I thought that a little musical interlude from Smash Mouth (or the Monkees, depending on your age!) would be a useful tool in commenting on some remarks from an Obama supporter in Florida at Obama’s rally a couple of days ago.
This is what she said:
I’m in love…wooooo…I’m a believer….
Um. Just kidding. This is what she really said:
It was the most memorable time of my life.
It was a touching moment because… I never thought this day would ever happen.
I won’t have to worry about putting gas in my car.
I won’t have to worry about paying my mortage.
RIGHT. Keep on singing, sister. That’s some fairy tale life you are living.
But if that’s what you truly believe, I’ve got just the song for you, although I might be publishing it a little early for you to realize the truth of it.
And since I believe in free enterprise and intellectual property rights, I won’t be downloading any music with which you can sing along.
But you can sing the song because you know the tune even if the lyrics surprise you, just like Barak Obama will if you elect him.
Get ready…
One, two, one two three four….
I thought wealth was
Only true in fairy tales
Meant for just the rich
But not for me
Hope was out to get me
That’s the way it seems
Disappointment still haunts
All my dreams.
I thought I liked his face
But he’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of change on his mind
He’s a fraud
He’s a deceiver
The press wouldn’t vet him
Didn’t try.
I thought trust was
More or less a given thing
The more I gave the less
I got, oh yeah!
What’s the point of working?
All you get is pain
When I wanted dollars
I got change…
But now I see his face
And he’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of change on his mind
He’s a fraud
He’s a deceiver
The mob wouldn’t leave him
Wouldn’t try.
But what’s the use in working
All you get is pain
While I hoped for more wealth
I got change.
And I still see his face
And he’s a Deceiver
He will leave this place
With every last dime.
He’s a fraud
He’s a deceiver
But we couldn’t leave him
Didn’t try.
Although we liked his face
He’s still a deceiver
Not a trace
Or doubt in our minds.
He’s a deceiver
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
He’s a deceiver
Then we saw his face
And he’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of doubt in our minds
He’s a deceiver
But only some of us know it, because in fairy tales, even a plain golden pumpkin can become a golden carriage with the help of a fairy godmother.
Just not this one.
It’s time for us to engage in some deception…some mischief of our own.
We don’t want to help Obama. We don’t want Obama’s help. We know what he wants to do…and we don’t like it.
We don’t want to exchange our treats for his huge trick…so it’s time to smash his pumpkin before he gets a chance to get ours.
Let’s just make sure we do it on the right road…on the road to the White House.
Or we may just find ourselves splattered on the Highway to Hell instead.
Stacia Gallagher 
